I Should Really Be A Vampire (AKA, How My, Erm, Bits, Got Burnt Away)

Sorry about that title. I was bored and I wanted to be crass.
So, I went to the beach today, and for those of you who know me, I'm kind of, no VERY pale. Like super-duper pale.
Like Edward Cullen would be jealous pale.
Like...I can't top that last one. That was a stroke of genius right there.
Haha, Cullen, haha.
So I was at the beach, and I was catching some rays. This is a strange experience for me. Normally I'm the kind of person who stays inside and reads or goes on the computer of watches reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer until late at night. I'm that girl.
This weekend I've clocked more hours outside than I have last month.
That is saying something people.
That is saying something.
As mentioned above, I have very pale skin. Very pale. My mother calls it ivory. I call it white.
Same difference.
Anywho, this pale skin gets burnt very easily. So, while I fell asleep on the beach listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons, my thighs and shoulders (I was lying on my stomach) decided that lobster was the right color for them.
Yeah.
Oh, and somehow my, um, breasty business got burnt.
Lobster.
Oh, how they hurt.
I'm in terrible pain, and looking like a steamed crustacean.
Life can't get any better than this.
But Harry Potter is on ABC family, and I know all the words, so I'm going to go attend to that addiction.
Have a great memorial day, all.
~Elle

Welcome to the Previously Undiscovered 17 Circle of HELL

Disclaimer: I forgot to finish this one and it's from about a week ago, during the senior exam schedule. SORRY!!!

Yeah, I know that that is kind of graphic, but it's true. My history teacher's classroom is the previously undiscovered 17 circle of hell.
So, (and apologies, this will be in past tense because I'm forgetful) I was sitting in his classroom for 3 HOURS.
Do you know how long 3 hours feels like when your innards are being boiled inside you it is so hot?
And not even the good kind of hot.
NO.
This was the innard-melting, circle-of-hell kind of hot.
It was torture.
But that week is over.
Now all I have to worry about is my finals.
Hooray!!!
~Elle, talking about her distant past

Why I Need To Be More Active

I slept for a grand total of four hours last night. It was horrible.
So I wake up at four in the morning and I just had to lie there for an hour and a half until it was a suitable time for me to be up and about.
As you can see, I had some extra time this morning.
Oh, that, and I forgot to do my Spanish homework last night so I did it this morning.
Yeah...
Oh...
Oops.
Yes.
Haha.
Happy Monday everybody, and welcome back to hell.
~Elle

How You Know In High School At Georgetown

You know you're in high school when:
-sixth graders let you through in the hallways
-you don't have to walk to the 3rd floor to get to your classes
-you don't have to deal with the middle schoolers
-there is less drama
-dances usually include dancing
-the clubs are better
-you get leads in the school plays
-you carry your backpack everywhere
-you have classes with people who aren't in your grade
-you don't have to write lists about how you know you're in high school because you just know.

Being Choked

I do karate, for those who do not know, and today in class we were doing a choking technique. I find this to be supremely bothersome.

It's an invasion of your life!

I said that in class and all my instructers laughed at me.

I tend to do that.

You know, say something that sounded good in your head but out loud makes you sound like a bimbo?

Those moments?

Yeah, good times.

Happy Friday Eve.

~Elle

Have You Ever?

Have you ever danced around in your room with an ancient CD player in your bathrobe and fuzzy socks singing 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana?
I have. Five minutes ago.
Have you ever drunk an entire bottle of blue Gatorade just to turn your tongue blue so you could say you french-kissed a Smurf?
I have. Today.
Have you ever become obsessed with a show just because one of the characters looks like Billy Idol?
I have. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Gotta love Spike. <33
Have you ever had a crush on a 900+ year old alien? I have. Doctor Who, hello?
Have you ever done a knee-slide at a school dance? I have. Twice.
Have you ever pretended to be asleep so that the monsters under your bed don't get you? I have. Many times.
Have you ever wondered where those socks go when they disappear in the dryer? I have. I even have a theory.
Have you ever gotten something published? I have. Go to http://www.teenink.com/ and look up Swinging in the All Fiction section. Make sure that it is by ellemarie and then like it and comment on it! Thanks!
Have you ever done something without your parents knowing?
I have. It's called this blog.
They know now though.
I really am glad that I made this, because in making this, it gave me the confidence to go put something on Teen Ink and it got published and I am so happy and pleased and please go look at it!
THANKS!!!!!

I Need To Sleep More Often

So last night I babysat four little girls from 6 to 9 and I got thirty bucks which roughly translates into about twenty-five packs of mentos so I'm excited!
Yeah, so I got home at 9, but I ended up staying up another three hours.
Why, you ask?
Oh, well, I watched my Doctor Who, Graham Norton, and The Upside Down Show.
If you don't know what The Upside Down Show is, here you go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkZkUIptPF0
Watch this at eleven o'clock at night.
I was laughing like a loon.
OH and watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAToDhd71W4
I'm way too old to watch this show, but it never fails to make me laugh.
Some of the humor is for old people (Like me) and it made me laugh like a loon and keep Jacob, my brother up until twelve.
HAHAHA.
~Elle

I Reached A New Low Last Night

And I really did.
I came home from school, spent three hours on the computer trying to type my story but unsuccessfully because I kept getting distracted by things like food and YouTube, ate more, then went upstairs into my parents bedroom because they have the HD TV and spent five hours watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns and squeeing over how cute Spike is and then watching What A Girl Wants and squeeing over Colin Firth in leather pants.
I've no life at all.
At least I'm babysitting tonight, which means cash, which means mentos.
Enjoy your weekend!
~Elle

I Guess That This Is An Apology...

...To my friend Brigit, whom I love to death, but took something the wrong way.
So in my post last Thursday, I mentioned, well the whole post was about how the band and chorus of my school were going to Six Flags New England.
I said-
'I'm going with the band. And the chorus, but the chorus is slightly less cool.'
I have problems with my memory, so when Brigit said that she was offended by my post on Thursday, I had no idea what she was talking about.
And, no offense, Brigit, don't take this the wrong way, I don't think that that sentence was that offensive.
I could have said a lot worse.
But I was kidding, so it doesn't even matter!
Most of my close friends are in chorus (excepting Olivia. She's in the band.) and I was KIDDING!!!!
Both the chorus and the band at my school are superb, and the music program is fantastic, and when I say band is better than chorus, for future reference, I AM KIDDING!!!!
NEITHER ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER!!!!!
I just said band is better because, hey, I'm in band!
Of course I'm going to think that it is better.
But it isn't.
Chorus won overall at the competition.
Middle school band came in second overall.
So, that said, I apologize for the misunderstanding, I was being funny, and I won't say it again.
There.

Why I Love My School

I love my school because they take us to Six Flags.
I was there for six hours.
I also saw my band director, Mr. Seapy, go on Bizarro.
That was a laugh.
But mostly I just walked around, rode rollercoasters, ate fried dough, stole people's french fries, and got sick on the tea cups.
OH, and the three hour ride home?
I was asleep listening to rap music for two hours and forty minutes.
On a bus full of eighth and seventh graders.
I have no idea how I achieved it.
Anyway, besides that, check out A Very Potter Musical on YouTube.
I was watching it at eleven last night, but I watched it again this morning, and it was just as funny, so it was not an eleven last night kind of funny.
It was truly, truly hilarious.
~Elle

I'm Fist Pumping On The Inside!

Because obviously I couldn't be fist-pumping right now because then I wouldn't be typing.
Or I could.
But not really.
Whatever.
The reason that I am fist-pumping on the inside is that tomorrow I get to go to Six Flags New England with the band!
And the chorus, but the chorus is slightly less cool!
This is an annual trip, and one of the most fun.
It's changed a bit though, because we got a new band director, Mr. Seapy.
So, apparently, to spend more time at the park, we have to be at the school at 5:45 AM.
WHAT?
WHAT?
Oh, and I need to buy cookie dough.
But besides that, WHAT?
I have to get up at 5 IN THE MORNING?
I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!!
THAT IS JUST NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!!!!
But that is beside the point.
So I just thought that I'd let you know about this awesomeness.
Oh, and I'll tell you all about it later.
It's bound to be amazing.
~Elle

I Love This Day

Today is my friend Konstantina's birthday!
Happy Birthday, Dina!
Anyway, today is May 4, which is, if you are a Star Wars fan, one of the best days of the year.
Why, you ask?
Well, for all you non-Star Wars geeks out there, here you go-
You get to go around saying 'May the fourth be with you!' to everyone, all day.
Life just doesn't get better than that.
MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!
~Elle

I Need To Learn How To Sleep, And Not Spend Half The Night Coming Up With This

If you live in my part of the country (North East/ Massachusetts) then you know that it has been unusually hot for the past few days.
Unless you live in New Hampshire, because then you had a blizzard not to long ago.
I pity you.
Anywho, last night, it was very hot.
Very very hot.
So hot that Mother Nature went "Whew, it's hot. Hey, God, let's go swimming!"
That's how hot it was.
I had been watching TV all day in my basement - I'm a lazy butt and I know it, so relax. - and I was having trouble falling asleep, as the title says.
So, TV.
It's glorious.
There are the shows you watch because they make you sing (Glee); the shows you watch because they make you think (Lost. Now this one is tough. It makes you think TOO MUCH!!!!! You need a freaking notebook to take notes while you watch that show to understand it!); shows about really old aliens in blue boxes (DOCTOR WHO!!!! I had to sneak it in here. Sorry!); shows that make you laugh (Modern Family); and shows that make you want to slit your wrists (Hannah Montana).
And then there are the shows that you watch because they are addicting.
These are called soap operas.
I will have to say that I actually do watch Soap Net.
Yes, cultured me!
I watch soap operas.
Whatever.
So TV.
It's got jump cuts.
People sing songs.
And most every person who watches it wishes that whatever is happening on that TV show would happen to them.
Well.
Unless it's Lost.
That show is a 'Lost' cause.
HA HA, I made a funny.
Anyway, so last night in my half-delusional, sleep-deprived, heat-induced stupor, I had this thought-
And yes, it took me this long to get to it-
If people lives were like TV, it would be kind of awesome, but kind of horrible.
Your life would be full of jump cuts, number one.
Can you imagine being able to jump cut your life?
It would be like that movie Click, with Adam Sandler.
You would bypass all the horrible, suckish stuff.
But that bypassing leads to bad things.
In conclusion, life should not be jump cutted.
That was atrocious grammar.
Number two, you would never get sick. It's funny to me that these people on TV get shot and hit by cars and poisoned and who knows what else, but they never seem to manage to catch the common cold.
Miraculous.
Now, I'm cold-prone, so never being sick would be wonderful.
But still. It's just not natural.
And finally number three.
And this one I wouldn't mind getting cut out of my life for good.
Awkward elevator conversation.

Why I Am A Horrible Person And A Strange Fear Of Mine

First things first, let's all agree that I am not a horrible person ALL the time.
I, like most people, am horrible SOMEtimes, but not ALL the time.
Today is one of those times when I am horrible.
I am a horrible person because today, instead of doing the Walk For Hunger in Boston, I stayed at home in my bed and slept until, oh, 10.
Then my friend Hannah woke me up.
She was calling me from-
Guess where?





You should have guessed by now.
She was calling me from the Walk For Hunger.
And she saw the person I was supposed to go with, my friend Grace.
Grace, I am issuing a public apology and saying that I am a horrible person and that I should have come! I am so VERY sorry!
So, instead of being a productive member of society and doing something for people in need, I watched BBC America until 11:45 at night and then slept for ten hours.
I am indeed, for today at least, a horrible person.
This brings me to a strange fear of mine.
I am terrified of talking on the phone.
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am.
I am absolutely terrified of talking on the phone.
But not with my friends or my parents or people I talk to a lot.
In fact, I think I would classify my fear as being afraid to answer the phone.
Anyone in my family can attest to the fact that I never answer the phone unless I think that it is for me.
And even then, sometimes I don't.
The caller ID we have says names weird.
I don't know, I guess that I just don't like it.
Talking on the phone, that is.
I never have.
It's so awkward!
I talk a lot with my hands and convey messages with my facial expressions, and on the phone, those don't translate.
For instance, on time I was talking with someone I babysit for and they asked if a specific time was good or not and I gave them a thumbs up until I realized that they couldn't see that so I hurriedly had to say sure.
It was awkward.
So there you go.
The tale of why I am sometimes a horrible person and why I am afraid of talking on the phone.
Soooo, if you need to contact me, email me at jbarosin112@gmail.com
Or better yet, snail mail me.
I love getting letters in the mail.
Happy May 2nd!
~Elle

Why the Title of My Blog Is A Lie

I feel that I have to confess something.
I am not a novelist.
I have not, and am not currently writing a novel.
I haven't even wrote a decent short story.
So, quite possibly, the title of this blog is a lie, because in no way shape or form am I a novelist.
I just scribble dialogue, write character descriptions, make transcripts of conversations I hear, and draw maps.
Lots and lots of maps.
And I have written so many story beginnings, I could make a book out of just those.
It's a curse.
I can write a good beginning, solid, and then I don't know how to get my little characters to the end of their journey.
They are left stranded somewhere, saved forever onto the hard drive of my computer, lost in cyberspace.
My poor characters.
I try so hard, but I always let them down.
It hurts sometimes, odd enough as it is to say it, that I can't bring my characters to the end of their story.
Since they come from my mind, I take great care to make sure that I know every single thing about my characters.
I can write pages and pages about just one person.
Their back story, what they look like, their likes and dislikes, habits, favorite type of music, favorite drink, favorite movie to watch when they're sad, what they like to eat when they wake up in the middle of the night, allergies.
You name it, I know it about my characters.
I know that that sounds creepy, but it's the truth.
I guess sometimes I wish they could come to life so I could see them and talk to them and actually have them answer back.
Yeah, that makes me sound like a raging psychopath.
Whatever.
Enjoy your May Day.
~Elle