Summer Stories - Volume 7: Shopping and Why I Am Like the Piggies In That Nursery Rhyme

You know why I hate shopping? I hate shopping because everyone who is the in fashion industry somehow forgets that most normal people in the world don't look like they were built out of sticks by a cro-magnon and don't eat food? I'M NOT LIKE THAT!!! I HAVE HIPS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! I have WIDE HIPS! Holy Moses, this is just NOT FREAKING FAIR! So I went shopping tonight, and ended up crying all the way home like the piggies in that nursery rhyme. I tried on about thirty tops and not one of them fit! The only thing that fit was the leggings, and they were ONE SIZE FITS ALL (Oh the irony)! It's just not fair. At all. Not fair, at all, screw the fashion industry. My mother and I were talking on the ride how (well, she was talking, I was snuffling through my tears) and I said that I wished that I had the boobs to balance my fat ass and my mother goes "No you don't! You'd look like Betty Boop!" Thanks BUNCHES Mother. Every teenage girl wishes that they looked like a fifties pin-up cartoon.
Lots of love!
~Elle
P.S. Guess who gets to go to a John Mayer concert? ME ME ME!!!

Summer Stories - Volume 6: I Really Am Going To Miss My Aching Feet

As we all know, I've been working at a day camp with the youngest group, the 6 and 7 year olds. While they can be a pain, and they really never listen, and they are somewhat violent in groups, I really enjoyed myself. I've gotten attached to those kids. They're all so cute. None of them can talk right - they all either lisp or can't pronounce their Rs. It's adorable. And they give good, albeit violent, hugs. They scream like girls(the boys), and get covered in dirt(the girls). They are all good kids. And I'm really sad that tomorrow is my last day.
I'm going to miss a lot of the interns too. I may not know all of you that well, but seriously guys, I know you will never read this, but I love you all to bits and you're all really cool. So thanks for making the past two weeks some of the more enjoyable ones I've spent in my life.
Thanks for putting up with my weirdness.
Thanks for bitching with me about the directer of the camp.
Thanks for laughing at my jokes.
Thanks for stealing animal crackers with me.
Thanks for forgetting my name.
Thanks for liking the same music I do.
Thanks for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire during fishing.
Thanks for being people who I can relate to.
Just thanks, I guess.
Thanks.
~Elle

Summer Stories - Volume 5: Honestly, It Was Just Like Babysitting Sixteen Six Year Olds...Actually, That Was EXACTLY What It Was Like!

So today was my first day at my first paying job ever!
Hooray!
I'm a counselor at a camp that I've been attending as a camper for the past five years, and now I'm getting paid! I've got the 6 and 7 year-olds, and let me tell you, they do not stop kicking! They honestly have so much energy, I have no idea!
And I woke up at three in the morning and it's 8:03 PM right now so I've been awake for fifteen hours, but not the right fifteen hours, so I'm super tired but I don't want to go to bed because then I'll wake up at three again!
I've gone over this.
It's happened to me before!
So I'm going to go hold my eyelids open with tape and pour cold water over my head to keep me awake.
Happy Monday!
~Elle

Summer Stories - Volume 4: I'm Seriously Beginning To Doubt Myself. Oh, And I Hate Rain.

So, I was wondering.
If you read my blog could you give me a shout-out in the comments?
It would mean a lot to know that you actually read this sometimes pointless, sometimes stupid, sometimes funny(I hope) drivel I spout.
So, if you could do that, that would be really, really cool and stuff.
Thanks.
Oh, and I am so mad because I was supposed to go to an outdoor concert today, but it started to rain and I'm really upset.
Oh well.
See ya.
~Elle

Summer Stories - Volume 3: I Didn't Fall Off A Porch! I Was Attacked By Vicious Squirrels In The Forest!

I've mentioned that I was clumsy before, right?
I mean, http://confessionsofelle112.blogspot.com/2010/02/do-chairs-jump-out-at-you-too.html, click here.
I've been writing about it since I started this blog.
Anyway, I think that this is actually a lesson in the choices you make directly affecting your life.
So I was over my friend Hannah's house. I don't think I've told any of my crazy friend Hannah from Hamilton stories on this blog yet. Just you wait. I will.
Anywho, I was over Hannah's house, and she was at soccer practice, so her older sister Rachel and I decide to walk to Crosby's (a food supplier store.) and get cookie dough and ice cream, because that is what girls eat at sleepovers. I don't know why. I think we just have a psychological need to stuff our faces.
So we're leaving the house, and I decided NOT TO PUT ON MY HIGH TOP CONVERSE THAT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS TRAGEDY! Instead, I wore a pair of Hannah's flip flops, and she's a shoe size bigger than mine.
Here's where the tragedy occurs.
Hannah lives in this huge farmhouse that has about forty rooms and is all around amazing, but the porch is really tall, and I'm really... not tall.
And I'm not coordinated.
So I step off the porch, but because I'm nearsighted and I never wear my glasses, I misjudged where the ground would be.
And THOSE STUPID SHOES!
So I land on the ground and my right ankle rolls and makes a horrible cracking noise that really shouldn't be associated with bodily parts seeing as it was really sickening and then I was in the dirt. I honestly think I blacked out for a second, it hurt so badly.
Then Hannah's two dogs, Megan and Molly, decided that then would be a good time to attack me with their tongues. I was just lying on the ground with two dogs licking me all over and my ankle starting to swell up when Rachel turns around. I really think that she panicked and didn't know what to do, so she starts telling me the story of how she fell a few days ago and hit a bird bath while I'm on the ground clutching my ankle being attacked by dogs tongues.
Finally she asked if I was OK, and I said that I thought I was, but my ankle just hurt a little. So I decided to go to Crosby's with her. It was about three miles to Crosby's, and I walked all the way there and all the way back.
That is six miles, my friends, for those of you who are horrible at math, like me.
Yes, I walked six miles with a sprained ankle.
Not the brightest idea I've ever had.
Yeah.
You know, that is probably why it's still sprained badly.
I'm a genius.
So, squirrels or no squirrels, I sprained my ankle and I have two work in a camp in the woods for two weeks where there are roots just waiting to trip me.
I, personally, can't wait.
Happy Belated Fourth of July.
~Elle

Summer Stories - Volume 2: Now I Remember Why I'm Practically A Vampire

Remember all those posts I write about being tired all the time and how I don't sleep enough?
Well, now I remember why I don't go to bed early.
Yesterday was my little brother's birthday party, and my lovely mother (Hi Ma) decided to wake me very early so I could get ready to go to Laser Quest with about eleven 7-year-olds. Now I don't know if Laser Quest is a Massachusetts thing, but it basically is laser tag - you get this huge vest thing with a laser gun and you go into a labyrinthine maze that is splattered with glow-in-the-dark paint and lit with black lights and you shoot people.
NO, my legs did not glow in the black light, thank you very much.
Back to the story.
Laser Quest is one of those activities where you walk a tentative line when you participate in them. I only go about once a year, maybe twice. It's always a blast when I go, because most of the time I go with my friends and we get to go in and shoot each other for about twenty minutes. It's fun. But then you've got those souls who look like they come to Laser Quest a little too much, catch my drift?
They're the kids who know the names of the people working at Laser Quest. They always win. They stand outside the door discussing battle strategies. They look down their noses at common folk like us who just go to have a good time, not to live out some adolescent fantasy of being a sniper in some elite branch of the military. Those kids are geeks for laser tag.
Now, I'm totally OK with going geek for something. I'm geeked for writing. And music. I'm a music snob, actually. But to me it seems a bit too Star Wars fantasy dreams to be normal adolescence. To each their own. Besides, I love Star Wars. May the force be with you, and all that jazz.
What was I talking about?
Oh, yeah - Joshua's birthday party.
This party honestly went on forever. One of Joshua's friends was here till about 7 0'clock. By then I was bushed. I also had spent the day with two of my close friends (hey guys) and had eaten a little too much cake.
So I went to bed at 8 o'clock in the evening.
Do you know how early that is?
It is so early it is still light enough to go for a bike ride and to come back before dark.
I'm surprised I could do it, but obviously I was tired enough. Bad move, Jennelle.
I woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning. Obviously, I fell back to sleep. But at 5 I couldn't take it anymore. I read for two hours and then made pancakes at 7.
And then I took a catnap.
Summer is amazing.
Have a great week.
~Elle

Summer Stories - Volume 1: Sick Socks on the Sixth Sheep Say... Aww, Shoot I'm Sore

I'm sore, and sick, and sleepy.
It's not even seven days into summer vacation, and I'm already sick.
Or, I was yesterday. I'm feeling a bit better today. Still, all I want to do is watch I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant on TLC or True Jackson, VP on Teen Nick.
I'm a sad, sad loser, aren't I?
At least I'm not in my basement watching Buffy reruns folding laundry.
I only do that on alternate Thursdays.
Just kidding.
~Elle